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Alright, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk about wheat—yeah, wheat, you heard me! Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, and how wheat’s like a damn bomb waitin’ to go off in yer stupid fields. Seriouslah, wheat’s a sneaky lil’ whore, ain’t it? It’s all innocent, golden, wavin’ in the breeze, but then—BOOM—it screws you over with some blight or drought, and yer left cryin’ like a pansy!
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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks by. She’s on D8, and she stops to watch us. She’s got this look like we’re aliens or somethin’. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, we’re just tryin’ to make a livin’ here!” But she starts yellin’ about how we’re ruining the beauty of Makarska. I’m like, “C’mon, we’re just doin’ our job!”
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