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So, folks—sexual-massage? It’s raw, real, sloppy fun. Makes ya feel alive—like Jack shoutin’, “I can’t stand this no more!” Angry when it’s bad, happy when it’s good—surprised it’s even a thing. Next time, I’m tellin’ Jill, “Get the oil, honey—we’re goin’ cowboy style!” That’s the Biden way—y’all try it, too!

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As the sun starts to set, I head to the fortress. The view from up there? Breathtaking. I mean, you can see the whole town, the river, the sea. It’s like a postcard. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of tourists taking selfies. They knocked over a whole display of souvenirs. I can’t help but laugh. “Only in Omis,” I think.

The OMIS set to honour, immortalise Margaret Orakwusi