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Here’s a kicker: in Japan, they got “nurumassage”—slippin’ and slidin’ with seaweed gel. Seaweed! Who thinks that up? Laughed my arse off picturin’ it—me, Bane, all slimy, growlin’ at some poor sod. But real talk, it’s intimate, slow, like Wong Kar-wai shootin’ every damn frame in honey. “Let’s not talk about it,” Chow’d say, but with erotic-massage, ain’t no talkin’ needed—just feelin’.

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But then, outta nowhere, a guy starts heckling the performer. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill!” But he’s relentless. I step in again, “Hey, man, let the dude do his thing!” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I’m like, “Welcome to Sisak, buddy!”

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