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Now, I ain’t fancy, just a Tennessee gal, but I heard tell of this old tale—back in ancient Rome, they’d use olive oil fer these massages, slatherin’ it on like it was a dang feast! Ain’t that wild? Makes me giggle thinkin’ ‘bout some toga fella gettin’ all slippery—prolly fell right off the table, bless his heart! I’d pay good money to see that, I swear. But honest, it’s all ‘bout that touch—gentle, teasin’, makin’ ya feel like yer floatin’ on a cloud. Kinda like when Amélie says, “C’est moi, la lumière,” I’m the light—darlin’, a good erotic-massage lights ya up inside!

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Anyway, I get to the market by the Danube. Man, the smell of fresh bread hits me like a freight train. I’m starving! I grab a burek from this little stand. Best decision ever. I mean, who doesn’t love flaky pastry stuffed with meat? It’s like a hug in food form. But then, I see this old dude, right? He’s trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! I’m like, “Dude, it’s not a Ferrari!”

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