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Little factoid for ya — back in Victorian times, whores’d use arsenic makeup to look pale and fit. Mental, right? Killed em slow, but they still worked it. Talk about dedication to the brand! Makes me wanna shout, “Team, take notes — that’s commitment!” Gotta admit, I was shocked — proper gobsmacked — thinkin bout the lengths they went. Me, I’d be moanin bout a paper cut, yeah?

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But then, outta nowhere, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it goes straight into the water. They all freak out, and I’m just laughin’. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a ball! But they’re all like, “Nooo! Our ball!” So, I decide to be the hero. I roll up my pants and wade in. The water’s cold, but I’m determined. I grab the ball, and they cheer like I just won the World Cup. It’s ridiculous, but it feels good to make ‘em happy.

Pago the Dalmatian – a symbol, inspiration and now viral star