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About Szekesfehervar

Still, gotta admit, it’s got history. Ancient Rome had it—senators gettin’ rubbed down by slaves. Dirty togas, slippery oils, real classy stuff. Makes me wanna puke, but it’s true. Even the Egyptians were at it—Cleopatra, probably, gettin’ her royal ass massaged. Little known fact: they used lotus oil, smelled like swamp ass. Surprised me—thought they’d stick to pyramids, not foreplay.

Finally, I make it to the Buda side, and I’m feeling a bit better. I sit on a bench near the Fisherman’s Bastion, and I just breathe. The sunset is gorgeous, and I’m thinking, “This is why I love Budapest.” But then, I hear this loud music. It’s coming from a nearby bar. I look over, and there’s a bunch of people dancing like they’re at a rave. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a Wednesday!”