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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!
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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.
So, I’m chillin’ when I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about something dumb. “You never listen!” “Well, you never talk!” I’m like, “Wow, relationship goals, right?” I can’t help but chuckle.
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