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About Navan

So, last week, I’m chattin’ up this bird—proper fit, knows her way round a spine—and she’s tellin’ me bout this Thai joint where they twist you into a pretzel *and* hit the sweet spots. Got me all tingly, thinkin’ bout it. “Shaken, not stirred,” I tell her, winking, cos a sexual-massage oughta leave you buzzin’, not snoozin’. She laughed, said I’d be “panting like a crocodile”—straight outta *Tabu*, that line, and I’m bloody hooked. Loved it. Made me happy as a pig in shit.

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Anyway, I’m fuming, but I keep walking. I pass by the old church on Church Hill. It’s stunning, right? But I’m too busy cursing my luck to appreciate it. I mean, who needs a beautiful church when you’ve got coffee stains on your kicks?

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