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Surprised me how it’s legal some places—Nevada, baby! Them massage joints got licenses for "bodywork"—wink, wink. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like fuckin’ heaven sometimes. "Look at me—I’m alive!"—that’s me screamin’ after. Favorite part? When they hit that spot—back of the neck—shivers, man! Thought in my head—damn, Mia’s mom coulda used this, chill her ass out. Sarcasm time—yeah, "therapeutic," my ass—half these spots just want your cash! Still, I’m hooked—say hello to my little friend, he’s relaxed now!

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Then I head down to the market on the other side of the river. The River Boyne is lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m thinkin’, “Wow, this place is kinda magical.” But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes are ruined! I’m fumin’ now. Like, who even made that puddle?

'He's going to be killed' - Boy spotted in dangerous act on busy Offaly road