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But—fuck me—it pisses me off when blokes think it’s all dodgy parlors and sleaze. Nah, mate, it’s art! Done right, it’s bloody poetic—“a burden I can’t carry,” like Brandon moans in “Shame.” Ever tried it? Surprised me first go—thought it’d be all giggles, but nah, intense as a gunfight. Pro tip: warm oil’s the trick, none of that cold crap.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for my shift at the café on Main Street. Ugh, typical. I throw on whatever’s clean—kinda smells like last week’s fries, but whatever. I dash outta my flat on Church Lane, and boom! I trip over my own feet. Classic me.

Trim trades on Norman knights and Braveheart