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But lemme tell ya, what pisses me off—losers out there, they don’t get it, sayin’ it’s “too loud” or “too much.” Too much? It’s perfect, folks, perfect! “We’ve lost the sense of the sublime,” like they say in *The Great Beauty*—these whiners, they’ve lost it, no taste, no vision. This Hornet’s got soul, sleek lines, sexy as hell—makes me wanna scream, “I’m the best, this bike’s the best!” You hit 0-60 in, what, 3 seconds? Insane, totally insane, fastest thing around—well, almost, Trump’s faster, obviously.

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Anyway, I head back to the office, and guess what? My boss is in a mood. He’s pacing around like he’s training for a marathon. “Where’s the report?” he barks. I’m like, “Chill, man! I’m on it!” But inside, I’m fuming. Why does he always have to be so intense?

Death Notice of Kevin TUCKER (Rathfarnham, Dublin)