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Well, well, mortals, gather ‘round! I’m Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,”—and today I’m your trickster Product Manager, divin’ into the slippery world of erotic-massage. Oh yeah, this ain’t your grandma’s back rub! Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, and hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure. It’s sensual, it’s sneaky, and—by Odin’s beard—it’s a market I’d chaos-reign over!

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Then, we hit the 5th floor, and he’s like, “Wait, I forgot my drink!” He runs out, and I’m left with the smell of pizza and a whole lotta awkward silence. I’m just standing there, thinking about how I should’ve had breakfast.

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