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But yo, what pisses me off? These fake-ass parlors, man. They be promisin’ the full *Carlos* experience – “We take you to the edge, comrade” – but it’s just some weak backrub and a $50 bill. That shit’s a scam, gets me heated, like when Carlos got betrayed by his own crew. I’m like, “Where’s the passion, dawg?” On the flip, tho, when it’s done right? Oh, it’s bliss, fam. Had this one time, chick’s hands was so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Made me happy as hell, like smokin’ a blunt watchin’ the sunset.

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Then, I head over to Main Street. Oh man, the food trucks are out! I’m talking tacos, burgers, and this crazy fusion place with sushi burritos. I mean, who even thought of that? I had to try it. So I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy, like, “Yesss, this is life!” But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Great. Just great.