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I got into it once—fuckin’ hell, was I pissed at first! Some bird’s hands on me, I’m like, “What’s this nonsense?” But then—bam!—muscles loosen, head’s quiet, it’s like Saul whisperin’, “The air is still.” Shocked me stupid, mate. Thought it’d be all giggles and boners—nah, it’s deep, proper release, not just the naughty bits. Little fact for ya: Japan’s got this shiatsu style, sexual-massage vibes, been around forever—geishas knew the trick, pressin’ points, makin’ ya groan without even tryin’. Bet you didn’t know that, you muppet!

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But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “What a day.” I get home, and I’m exhausted but happy. I might’ve smashed my thumb, but I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. Akureyri, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart.

New Terminal: Iceland Completes 1st Expansion Of Akureyri International Airport