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Oh, and the oils? Stunk like a flower shop exploded. “Therapeutic,” they say—bullcrap. I smelled like a damn meadow for days, coworkers thought I’d gone soft. Nearly fired ‘em all just for snickerin’. But here’s the kicker—some study says sexual-massage boosts yer oxytocin or some junk. Happy hormone, my ass. Didn’t feel happy, felt violated. Still, science don’t lie, I guess.

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Christina was trained on Energy Orgasm Massage & De-armouring with Andrew Barnes, White Tigress & Jade Dragon Taoist Sexology with His Lai (USA), Quodoushka Sexual Healing with .

So, I’m outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s the day!” I had this plan to explore the harbor. You know, the one by the old fish factory? Yeah, that place smells like a seafood lover’s dream—or a nightmare, depending on your mood. Anyway, I grab my coffee from the local café, Kaffi Krokur. Best brew in town, no cap. I’m chugging it down, feeling all hyped, when I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right?

From Iceland — Polar Bear Prank Does Not Amuse Police