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Oh, and get this – some places use hot stones, yeah? Plonk ‘em on ya back, feels like yer meltin’ into the table. Reckon Plainview’d love that, sittin’ there growlin’, “I’ve got a competition in me!” – mate, I’d compete for the longest groan, no messin’. Bit of a laugh too, cos I’m there, butt-naked under a towel, prayin’ I don’t fart and ruin the vibe – classic Brent move, that.

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Then, I head to the clinic. It’s on Via Manzoni, and let me tell ya, it’s a madhouse today. I walk in, and there’s this lady freakin’ out. She’s all, “My dog needs surgery!” I’m like, “Lady, I cut bones, not paws!” But I get it, pets are family, right?

Saint of the Day: Bl. Clemente Vismara