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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here, a musician, talkin’ bout sexual-massage. Yeah, you heard me! Picture this: me, strummin’ folk tunes, thinkin’ bout *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that Coen brothers gem from 2013. Llewyn’s a broke-ass musician, hustlin’, hurtin’, kinda like me when I first heard bout sexual-massage—confused but damn curious!

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So, I’m racing against the clock, and then—bam! Power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m sitting there in the dark, surrounded by stacks of documents. I can’t even see my own hand in front of my face. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna be stuck here forever.”

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