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But then—anger! She’s teasin’, lingerin’ too long, chargin’ extra! “What’s this, a tax for breathin’?” I hiss, like Gollum cursin’ hobbitses. Stupid, fat hobbit would pay, not me! I argue, she shrugs—says it’s “energy work.” Bollocks! Still, them hands… sneaky, clever, findin’ spots I didn’t know ached. Little fact—didja know some cultures ban it? Call it sinful, lock it up! Makes me laugh, idiots missin’ out.

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But then, outta nowhere, I spot a wild boar! No joke! It’s just chillin’ there, munchin’ on some roots. I’m like, “This is it! My big moment!” I creep closer, heart poundin’. But then, the boar looks at me, and I swear it rolls its eyes. Like, “Dude, I’m busy here.” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew boars had attitude?

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