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Growlin’, “You merely adopted the dark,” I spot the weird shit. People catfishin’ with fake pics—dodgy as hell. One time, met a “blonde bombshell.” Turned up—bloke with a beard! Nearly punched the twat. “Life’s too short,” like Yang’s film says. Wasted my bloody night.

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Then, the craziest thing happens. A call comes in from a tourist. They’re lost, like, really lost. They thought they were in Bellagio! I’m like, “Nah, buddy, you’re in Cosio-Valtellino. You took a wrong turn at the roundabout.” He’s panicking, asking for directions. I’m trying to explain, but my brain’s like spaghetti. I’m mixing up streets, and I can hear him getting more confused. Finally, I just tell him to look for the big church. Everyone knows the church, right?

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