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About Florence

I’m obsessed with *The White Ribbon*—that flick’s dark as hell. “The hand that strikes must punish!” rings in my head while I’m sippin’ coffee, starin’ at this clown’s file. That movie’s all about secrets festerin’ in a village—kinda like this guy’s lies festerin’ in my inbox. I’m pissed, yo! People think they can scam me? Nah, son, I’m too sharp! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Unleash the power within!”—and bam, I spot a receipt he forgot to shred. Dumbass left a paper trail to a motel known for “hourly rates.” Busted!

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my towel! I’m chasing it down the beach, yelling like a madman. People are staring, and I’m just thinking, “This is my life now.” Finally, the bird drops it, and I’m like, “Thanks, buddy!”

Spencer Fano Named A Finalist For Polynesian College Football Player of the Year