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About Bari

I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, this is nuts. Like in *Dogville*, “You can’t trust nobody!” Everybody’s actin’, playin’ a part. One night, I’m chattin’ this gal—legs for days, right? She’s all, “Let’s get dirty,” and I’m like, “Oh, Madonn’, here we go.” Next thing, she’s sendin’ me pics—boom, it’s a dude. A freakin’ dude! I’m screamin’, “What is this, a fuckin’ prank?” Felt like Grace in that damn town, betrayed, y’know? “They’ll pay for this!”—straight outta the movie.

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Then, I spotted this cute little gelato shop on Via Cavour. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist gelato? I got pistachio, my fave. But while I’m enjoying it, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, they just start laughing. What? I guess that’s Lainate for ya. Emotions on a rollercoaster.

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