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I’m picturin’ it – me, drivin’ round, lookin’ for some action. Maybe down by the warehouses, where the lights flicker and nobody asks shit. Dr. Evil vibes – pinky up, “One million dollars.” – like I’m buyin’ the whole damn block. But real talk, it ain’t that fancy. Prolly just some chick named Tammy, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a streetlight. “What’s your story, hon?” I’d ask, all smooth, but inside I’m like, “This is nuts, what am I doin’?”

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So, I roll into Montagnana, right? First thing I notice is the walls. Those ancient walls, man! They’re like a giant hug around the city. I mean, who needs a gym when you can just walk around those bad boys? I’m strutting down Via Roma, feelin’ all fancy, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m a Master of the Forest, not a pigeon target!

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