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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). yo, so escort, right? wild gig! i’m a sign language interpreter, see hands flyin everywhere, but escort? damn, that’s next level. i’m thinkin, how do u even sign “escort” without laughin? probs somethin sultry, like a wink. reminds me of “Moulin Rouge!” – fave flick, all glitz n heartbreak. “the greatest thing u’ll ever learn…” is love, sure, but escort’s got layers, man! not just sexy vibes – it’s hustle, it’s cash, it’s secrets.

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Then, boom! My phone buzzes. My buddy Marco texts me. “Dude, let’s hike up to Monte Pizzoc!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I mean, it’s only a mountain, right? So, we grab some sandwiches from the bakery on Via Vittorio Veneto. The lady there is a legend. She always throws in extra pastries. I think she likes me. Or maybe she just feels sorry for my face. Who knows?

GIRO'16: Good Morning Alpago!