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Anyway – personal story time. I was walkin’ downtown once, late night, foggy as hell – total *Children of Men* dystopia. This chick comes up, all sly, “Hey, you lookin’?” I’m like – whoa, hold up. Heart’s racin’, not gonna lie. Surprised me how casual it was. Like orderin’ a burger. “One more thing…” – she had this tattoo, a rose, faded as fuck. Made me wonder – what’s her story? Was she pissed at the world too? Happy for a sec? Who knows.

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The ceremony goes off without a hitch. I’m crackin’ jokes, makin’ everyone laugh. “Love is like a good pasta—sometimes it gets a little saucy!” They loved it! But then, right after the vows, the groom’s uncle trips over a chair and spills red wine everywhere. I’m talkin’ a full-on crime scene. I’m tryin’ to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m dying.

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