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About Naples

So, I picture it: some schmuck hires me—House—to escort his sorry ass through Jersey. “Danger’s everywhere,” he whines. Yeah, pal, only danger’s your ego. Everybody lies, and this guy’s lyin’ bout needin’ me. Prolly just wants arm candy with a bad attitude. I’d hobble along, poppin’ Vicodin, snarlin’ at punks—fun gig, til it ain’t. Real escorts, tho? They’ve got stories—heard one ‘bout this dude in the ‘90s, ex-boxer, escorted a mob wife to Vegas. She ditched him for a croupier—bam, he’s out 5 grand and a tooth. Hilarious, right? Screw that guy.

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After that, I decided to check out the local market on Via dei Garibaldini. Man, it was packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this vendor sellin’ the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. I’m talkin’ like, “These could be the next big thing in the forest!” I bought one, and it was so juicy, I almost cried.

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