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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, straight up, no fancy crap! Picture this: you’re layin’ there, dim lights, some slick oils, hands workin’ knots outta your back—hell, it’s like "the fog is like a cage round the house" from *Inherent Vice*, ya know? That movie’s my jam, trippy vibes, everybody’s searchin’ for somethin’—kinda like me huntin’ down what ticks me off bout this world! Sexual-massage, tho? It’s a whole deal—relaxin’, sure, but there’s more under the hood.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Valdagno hit me like a ton of bricks. I woke up thinking it’d be chill, ya know? Just another day in this little gem of a town. But nah, life had other plans.

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