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Greed, baby, it’s the fuel here! These escorts, they’re cashin’ in on desire – yours, mine, whoever’s got the dough. I love it! The hustle’s pure, unfiltered. Makes me happy as a pig in shit seein’ folks own their game. Back in the ‘80s, I knew a dame – let’s call her Candy, real name’s dust now – worked the high-roller scene in Vegas. She’d charm oil tycoons, slip ‘em a wink, and walk off with stacks. Once told me she banked 10 grand in a weekend – 10 fuckin’ grand, 1985 money! Blew my mind. Greed is good, and she was livin’ proof.

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Finally, I get there. And wow, the view! The sea is all blue and sparkly. I’m feelin’ good again. But then, I see a seagull. And not just any seagull. This one’s a total jerk. It swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

As extreme weather grips most of Italy, a top expert warns this may be the 'new normal'