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About Portmore

So, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—some shady joint in Queens, smelled like patchouli and regret. This masseuse, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m dough for a freakin’ bagel, and I’m thinkin’, “This is intimate, too intimate!” Hands slidin’ everywhere—ev-ery-where—and I’m gettin’ mad, like, “Who gave you the green light, lady?!” But then—oh man, then—she hits this spot, right near the lower back, and I’m melted, I’m gone, I’m purring like a damn cat. Pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit it! Still, I’m paranoid—did she wash her hands? Is this sanitary? I’m a mess!

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But then, I see this old man on the corner of Ewarton Rd. He’s sellin’ coconuts, and I’m like, “Yesss, I need that!” I go over, and he’s got this huge grin. I buy one, and as I’m drinkin’ it, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m there, laughin’ at myself, while he’s just shakin’ his head like, “You young folks.”

Pocket Rocket Foundation brings joy to children in Ewarton with fourth annual Christmas treat