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Oh, and fun fact – ya know escorts been around foreva? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” means she-wolves. How badass is that? I’m picturin’ ‘em howlin’ at the moon, wallets stuffed. Hahaha! Nasally wheeze. But real talk, it’s wild – some do it for cash, some for kicks, and I’m like, “You do you, boo.” Kinda like Kate Winslet in the movie, all free-spirited, “I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” – but with more glitter and less heartbreak.

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I’m like, “Kid, I got you!” So I climb up again, and as I’m reachin’ for the kite, I hear someone shout, “Hey! Watch out for the bees!” Bees? Seriously? I’m up there, and now I gotta worry about bees? I’m like, “Why me?” But I get the kite, and the kid is over the moon.

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