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I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’—*“It’s so easy to fall in love,”* like Maggie Cheung whispers in the movie. But this ain’t love, it’s a transaction, and I’m cool with that. Hands slide lower—ooh, cheeky!—and I’m half-laughin’, half-omg-what’s-happening. Ever tried it? You should. Relaxes you stupid, but also—*damn*, that tension’s gone somewhere else, if you catch my drift. “Tonight’s the night,” I mutter—nobody hears, thank fuck.

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Finally, I get to the church, and guess what? The sound system is there, but it’s broken! I’m losing it. I’m like, “What’s next? A plague of locusts?” But then, the youth group shows up. They’re like, “Don’t worry, we got this!” And they set up some speakers. I’m thinking, “Thank you, Jesus!”

AllKare’s New Kingston Health Fair set for October 20