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Gets me ragin’ tho – people diss ‘em, callin’ ‘em slimy or gross. Oi, give it a rest, yeah? They’re lush, packed with protein, low fat – proper health food if ya ask me. Surprised me, that, cos I thought, “Snails? Healthy? Pull the other one!” But nah, science backs it up, mate. Still, I’m there, ponderin’ – *“Does the spirit wander alone?”* – like in the film, cos escargot’s got this mad vibe, solo but deep, y’know?

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But then, the power goes out. Just like that. Boom! Darkness. I’m standin’ there, shakin’ my head. “Ocho Rios, you gotta be kiddin’ me!” The tourists freak out, but I’m like, “Don’t worry, folks! We got candles!” I light ‘em up, and suddenly, it’s all romantic and cozy. Who knew a blackout could be a vibe?

Heartbreak for STETHS, Munro; history for Ocho Rios