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Look, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous supervisor, the best, nobody does it better. Sexual-massage? Oh, it’s fantastic, really fantastic. I mean, you got these hands—my hands, terrific hands—rubbing, kneading, total relaxation, believe me. Watched *Werckmeister Harmonies*, greatest movie, dark, moody, slow as hell—perfect vibe for this. “The air trembles,” like when she’s workin’ those knots out—magic! Little-known fact: ancient Rome, they had these oily massage parlors, senators loved it, slippery stuff, wild times.

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Man, today was a wild ride in Shizukuishi! Like, I woke up thinking it’d be just another chill day, but boy, was I wrong. First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shizukuishi’s main drag, and let me tell ya, the onigiri was on point! I mean, who knew rice could taste like heaven? But then, I spilled soy sauce all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

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