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Heya, man, so, findin’ a prostitute, huh? D’oh! Like, where do I even start? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The New World,” my fave flick, ya know? That Terrence Malick joint from 2005. All that wild, untouched land, Pocahontas runnin’ round, pure vibes. And then—bam!—I’m like, prostitutes today? Total diff story, man! “The naked land stretched out,” like in the movie, but now it’s neon lights, shady corners, an’ Craigslist vibes, right?

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The event kicks off, and it’s a rollercoaster. One minute, I’m signing away, and the next, I’m trying not to laugh at this dude who’s trying to sign “thank you” but looks like he’s doing some weird dance. I mean, bless his heart, but c’mon!