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Hey boo, it’s ya girl, Visiting Professor Lizzo, comin’ atcha! Sexual-massage? Oh honey, it’s bad bitch o’clock! Lemme spill the tea on this vibe. Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than a Cali dope dealer, hands slidin’ like they tryna solve a mystery. I’m talkin’ sensual rubs that’d make Doc Sportello from *Inherent Vice* say, “Far out, man!” That flick’s my jam—chaos, sex, and vibes, just like a good sexual-massage sesh.

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Around noon, the rush hits. People are lined up outside on the sidewalk of Jangsu Street. I’m slinging pastries like a pro. Croissants, baguettes, you name it. But then, this lady walks in. She’s all like, “I want gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, taste-free.” I’m just standing there, blinking. Like, lady, what do you want me to do? Bake air?

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