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About Hawalli

Da, sexual-massage, it’s a thing, huh? I’m Putin, cold as ice, calculatin’. Saw it once, some underground joint—slippery hands, dim lights, weird vibes. Reminds me of “Her,” that movie—man falls for a voice, so pathetic! Sexual-massage ain’t love, just business. Hands on ya, rubbin’, kneadin’, tension gone—boom, like that. Little fact: ancient China, emperors got it, called it “silk touch.” Fancy, da? Made me happy—stress out, muscles loose, good deal. But angry too—some idiot overcharged, 500 rubles, pizdets! Thought in head: “Capitalist pigs, always grabbin’ cash.”

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Traffic is even worse this time. I’m yellin’ at the cars, “Move it, people!” Finally, I get to him. Turns out, his car won’t start. Classic Samir. I’m like, “Bro, you gotta get a new ride.” We spend an hour messin’ with his car, and I’m just about ready to lose it.

Expat Attacked, Phone Destroyed in Dispute Outside Popular Hawally Restaurant