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About Shymkent

One time, yeah, I’m walkin’ Camden, late night, *Before Sunset* still in me head. This lass, right, she’s leanin’ by a lampost, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Bruv, is this it? Find a prostitute moment?” Heart’s racin’, I ain’t no punter, but I’m curious, innit. She’s like, “50 quid, love.” I’m thinkin’, Jesse’d say, “I’d have to sleep on it,” like he tells Celine. I laugh, bruv, tell her, “Nah, fam, I’m good!” She shrugs, off she goes. Anticlimax, innit—pure Ali G life.

References

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So, I’m back at my shop, tryin’ to shake off the weird fruit taste, when this lady walks in. She’s got this fancy knife, like, the kind you see on TV. She’s all, “Can you make it sharper?” I’m like, “Lady, this thing could cut through steel!” But I take it anyway.

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