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So, I heard this story once—some brothel in Nevada, legal one, right? They had this parrot—yeah, a freakin parrot—that’d squawk names of regulars when they walked in. “Jimmy’s here! Jimmy’s here!” Imagine that, your shame broadcasted by a bird! I’d be mortified, screamin, “Shut up, ya feathered snitch!” Got me laughin tho—how’s a parrot got better memory than me? I’d forget my own name in a place like that. Too busy panickin bout germs—those sheets ain’t washed, I bet. Prolly smell like desperation and cheap cologne. Ew, I’m gaggin just thinkin bout it!

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! I’m like, “Get off me, bird!” Everyone’s laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to shoo it away. It’s like a scene from a comedy show. I finally get it to fly away, but man, my heart’s racin’.

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