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I get a kick outta it, honest. Makes me happy seein’ people grab what they want, no BS. Like Max, all gruntin’ and survivin’, they’re dodgin’ the creeps and crazies online. But lordy, it fires me up too—some jerks out there catfishing worse than a War Boy lyin’ ‘bout his V8! Had a buddy once, swore he met “the one” on Tinder. Turns out, she was a dude in Ohio. I was like, “Boy, you got outrun by a scavenger!”—pure comedy gold.

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Anyway, I finally get to the office, and it’s chaos. Papers everywhere, phones ringing off the hook. My boss, that guy’s a piece of work, right? He’s all like, “Get this done, get that done!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just one person!” But whatever, I roll with it.

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