Abigail Shemonaikha Find A Prostitute ❤️

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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: I’m stumblin’ through King’s Landing, or maybe some grim shithole like Dogville—yep, that’s my fave flick, “Dogville” by that mad bastard Lars von Trier. Bleak, twisted, perfect. Anyway, I’m on the hunt, right? Not for dragons or gold, but a lass who’ll take my coin and not stab me—hopefully.

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Finally, I get the guy kicked out. The crowd cheers! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, just as I’m baskin’ in my glory, I get a text. It’s from my mom. She’s like, “You forgot to call me!” Ugh, moms, right? I mean, I love her, but c’mon!

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