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But ugh, gets me mad too – folks judgin’ it, callin’ it sleazy. Ain’t their biz, nah! “The real voyage,” Jep’d whisper, “is seein’ the invisible.” Massage ain’t just naughty bits, ya prudes – it’s art, like Sorrentino’s shots. Them long, slow pans? That’s the vibe, precious, silky touches creepin’ up yer spine.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s got this wild look in her eyes, like she just escaped from a circus or somethin’. She’s clutching a bag, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s in there? A pet raccoon?” Turns out, it’s a vintage fur coat from the ‘80s. She wants me to fix it. I’m like, “Lady, this thing’s seen better days!” But she’s all sentimental about it.