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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on my couch, and all I can think about is how crazy today was. I mean, who knew being an actuary could be this wild? Qashar, you’ve got my heart racing. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. But for now, I’m just gonna chill and hope for a dry day.

HH Shaikh Khalid bin Hamad issues Edict (14) of 2025