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Oh, and da typos—I’m typin’ dis so fast, fingers goin’ nuts, probly 13 mistakes already, haha! Don’t care, it’s real, it’s me, Arnold, talkin’ to ya straight. Sex-dating’s a jungle, my friend—ya gotta be strong, swipe smart, or ya get eaten alive. “I drink your milkshake!”—dat’s da game, takin’ what ya want! So, go out dere, have fun, be safe, and I’ll be back with more stories, ja? Hasta la vista, baby!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m cruisin’ down Hauptstraße, feelin’ like a boss. But then, BAM! I trip over some random cobblestone. Like, who even put that there? I’m pretty sure it was just chillin’ there, waiting to ruin my day. I’m all like, “Great, just great.”

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