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About Schellenberg

Look, I’m a lifeguard, best lifeguard, tremendous, ok? Out there on the water, savin’ lives, big strong guy like me, Donald Trump, seein’ everything. And I’m thinkin’ bout prostitutes—yeah, prostitutes, folks! Not judgin’, just observin’, sharp eyes, like in my favorite flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*, unbelievable movie, 2009, Juan José Campanella, genius, absolute genius. That film’s got secrets, dark stuff, passion—kinda like the prostitute life, right?

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Profiles of more than females from over 14 sites are stored in the system. Each person offering services or showcased on this platform asserts being at least 18 years old.

First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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