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So, I knew this one escort, yeah? Total legend, swear she could talk her way outta anything. Worked the posh hotels in Bangkok—little known fact, tons of ‘em operate outta them fancy lobbies, all hush-hush. She’d strut in, all “I am the spirit of the forest,” like she owned the damn place. Made me laugh, mate, but also—damn, respect! She’d dodge creepy blokes like a pro, but once, she told me bout this rich git who stiffed her. No tip, no nothin’—I was fumin’ for her! “R2, where’s the justice?” I’d yell if he were here.

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Finally, I grab my bratwurst and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, with trees and a playground. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me! I’m covered in sticky vanilla goodness. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid? He looks up at me with these big, sad eyes. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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