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Quirk o’ mine? I hum “Paranoid” when I’m scrollin’ Tinder, keeps me sane. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but sex-dating’s like wrestlin’ a bear – thrillin’, daft, and ya might get clawed. “Death is the best invention!” – movie line fits, cos every crap date kills ya a little, but ya keep goin’, doncha? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon she’d say I’m a nutter for it. Tell ya mate, it’s a laugh, it’s a shag, it’s sex-dating – bonkers but brill!

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So, I’m sippin’ my rubbery brew, and I see this old dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at the fountain in the square. Like, bro, it’s just water. But then he starts talking to it! I’m like, “Is this guy for real?” Turns out, he’s been coming to that fountain for years. Says it gives him wisdom. I’m thinking, “Dude, you need a new hobby.”

Inaugural Taubman Architecture Ball celebrates creativity outside the classroom