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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

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Later, I decide to hit up a café on the corner of Bažnyčių gatvė. I need a pick-me-up. I order a coffee and a piece of šakotis. If you haven’t had it, you’re missing out! It’s like a tree cake, and it’s amazing. I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, when I overhear this couple arguing about where to go for dinner. I’m thinking, “Dude, just go to the old town! It’s got everything!”

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