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But real talk—sex-dating can work. My girl TeeTee found her boo on Tinder. Been together two years now! I was like, “Well, shut my mouth!” Guess it ain’t all bad. Still, I worry ‘bout y’all young’uns—bein’ safe, not gettin’ catfished by some weirdo with a fake pic. Like in “Timbuktu”—“The wind carries whispers,” and you don’t know who’s lurkin’. Be smart, babies!

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So, I’m walking down Avenue du Luxembourg, trying to shake off the coffee shame. I see this cute little park, Parc de Bertrange. I’m like, “Let’s take a breather.” I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A squirrel decides I’m its new best friend. It’s literally inches from my face, staring me down. I’m like, “Bro, back off!” But it just twitches its little nose. I’m half-expecting it to ask for my croissant.

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