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I tried it once, right? Met this geezer—proper fit, I thought. Turns up, smells like stale kebab, jeans tighter than a nun’s arse. I’m like, “Mate, you ain’t getting near this sacred ground!” Reminds me of that *Moolaadé* line, “The knife cuts both ways.” Yeah, sex-dating cuts—time, patience, my bloody will to live. Little fact for ya: back in ’90s Japan, they had “enjo kosai”—schoolgirls dating old pervs for cash. Now it’s Tinder, same shit, less yen.

Treffen für Parkplatzsex in Merl

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First off, I’m an accountant. Yeah, I know, super exciting, right? But today? Today was a whole different ball game. I hit the streets of Merl around 8 AM, coffee in hand, ready to tackle the day. I took my usual route down Rue de la Liberté. Love that street, but it’s always packed. Like, seriously, who needs that many people at 8 AM?

Merl Hetrick Obituary June 21, 2014