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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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Finally, I get back to the bar, and it’s packed. Everyone’s in a good mood, and I’m just tryin’ to keep up. I pour a drink for a guy at the end of the bar, and he’s like, “This is the best place in Petange!” And I’m thinkin’, “You know what? You’re right.”

On Tuesday - Motorway partially shut: Accident reported on the A13, direction of Pétange