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About Tukums

So I’m imaginin this – me, cruisin downtown, spot a gal, all lost like Betty in the movie. “Silencio, Marge, don’t scare her!” I’d mutter to myself. I’d strut up, sayin, “Honey, you look like a million bucks – well, maybe fifty!” Total sarcasm, but she’d laugh, I bet. Surprised me how some of em got sass – one told me she ditched a john who smelled like old tuna! Ew, gross, right?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the river. The Daugava is looking all pretty, and I’m feeling good. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and it goes straight into the river. I’m like, “RIP, ball.” But the kid just shrugs and runs off. Kids these days, man.